Submitted by Professor Robert Dean
Ring, Ring!
Boldt: Hello! Commissioner Marc Boldt here. What can I do you for? (Aside: I always like to have a little fun with people).
Caller: Marc, Jeff Hamm.
Boldt: Jeff Hamm?
Hamm: CEO of C-Tran.
Boldt: C-Tran?
Hamm: Clark County Transit District. You’re the Chairman of the Board.
Boldt: Right! Jeff Hamm! You take orders – good man! What’s up?
Hamm: We’ve got a new $617,000 hybrid bus broken down on the side of the road!
Boldt: It’s not blocking traffic is it?
Hamm: No, it’s in a city parking meter space. The driver has to keep pushing the 20 minutes free button.
Boldt: Good. Don’t you love those government grants and freebies!
Hamm: Trouble is, this bus isn’t empty like most. It’s full of passengers and the air conditioning isn’t working.
Boldt: Passengers?
Hamm: Citizens. Taxpayers.
Boldt: Oh. Well why call me?
Hamm: The driver tells me some of the passengers are elderly and handicapped. You told us to make them suffer so we would get the money for the new rapid transit system on Fourth Plain.
Boldt: That’s right. But Proposition 1 passed. Send a mechanic down there to work on the air conditioner.
Hamm: Shouldn’t we have him work on the engine?
Boldt: No, call Eric Florip at the Columbian. We can use this in our next proposition to get money for light rail. Have him take lots of pictures – especially of the elderly and handicapped.
Hamm: Yes sir! Anything else?
Boldt: Yes, my son is taking a girl to the Senior Prom. Send one of those Hybrid buses around. It’ll save renting a limo. Do we have one with a sun roof?