A Harried Day in the Life of a Clark County Commissioner

by lewwaters

 

Submitted by Professor Robert Dean

Ring, Ring!

Boldt: Hello! Commissioner Marc Boldt here. What can I do you for? (Aside: I always like to have a little fun with people).

Caller: Marc, Jeff Hamm.

Boldt: Jeff Hamm?

Hamm: CEO of C-Tran.

Boldt: C-Tran?

Hamm: Clark County Transit District. You’re the Chairman of the Board.

Boldt: Right! Jeff Hamm! You take orders – good man! What’s up?

Hamm: We’ve got a new $617,000 hybrid bus broken down on the side of the road!

Boldt: It’s not blocking traffic is it?

Hamm: No, it’s in a city parking meter space. The driver has to keep pushing the 20 minutes free button.

Boldt: Good. Don’t you love those government grants and freebies!

Hamm: Trouble is, this bus isn’t empty like most. It’s full of passengers and the air conditioning isn’t working.

Boldt: Passengers?

Hamm: Citizens. Taxpayers.

Boldt: Oh. Well why call me?

Hamm: The driver tells me some of the passengers are elderly and handicapped. You told us to make them suffer so we would get the money for the new rapid transit system on Fourth Plain.

Boldt: That’s right. But Proposition 1 passed. Send a mechanic down there to work on the air conditioner.

Hamm: Shouldn’t we have him work on the engine?

Boldt: No, call Eric Florip at the Columbian. We can use this in our next proposition to get money for light rail. Have him take lots of pictures – especially of the elderly and handicapped.

Hamm: Yes sir! Anything else?

Boldt: Yes, my son is taking a girl to the Senior Prom. Send one of those Hybrid buses around. It’ll save renting a limo. Do we have one with a sun roof?

10 Comments to “A Harried Day in the Life of a Clark County Commissioner”

  1. The truest words ever written.

    Like

  2. We should compliment them on running a successful campaign based on tried and true election values:
    * Exploiting the handicapped and the poor, and
    * Lying and
    * Covering up their hidden money.
    But when your mission is to save the earth from the twin crackpot delusions of global warming and peak oil, the ends justifies the means.

    Thanks
    JK

    Like

  3. Oh man that’s funny! 🙂 Thanks Robert Dean…..

    Like

  4. A tool for every job, and a job for every tool.

    Jeff Hamm and Thayer Rohrbaugh are the two people in Clark County that are more responsible for the progress of the Columbia Crossing Project Loot Rail and the Bus Loot Rail feeder that C-Tran just got money for. The two of them are the handiest People’s Tools that guys like Mark Boldt has ever had.

    Neither one of these guys has ever stood for election to any position, they are both long term hirelings and the jobs they both fill provide support to the local Political Ruling Class who appoint them. Hamm and Rohrbaugh both have control over millions of taxpayer dollars yet they never answer to those taxpayers in any way whatsoever.

    Jeff Hamm is a textbook example of why we need to directly elect the Board of C-Tran, instead of letting Ruling Class members like Mark Boldt to repeatedly appoint guys like Jeff it to do his political dirty work for him. All this arrangement does is provide local politicians with cover and deniability for any real responsibility for any of the decisions they would rather not point out to what’s left of the voting public.

    And all of this takes place with the willing cooperation and active assistance of (say it with me…) the Columbian. The disgusting political lickspittle who runs the newsroom would much rather demonize the local blogosphere and local political candidates his paper finds threatening, instead of actually reporting the facts about anything.

    So it goes.

    Like

  5. Mr. Dean, you have brought a smile to my face this morning. I can actually picture this discussion. I wonder what drivel they’ll be concocting to brainwash those who are really that mentally inept to vote in the first place.

    Like

  6. GO, people who do not vote are these people’s best friends. If everyone who received a ballot took the time to educate themselves and actually vote, we would not have one tenth of the problems we have right now.

    Another good example of a problem in action is the CFO of the City of Vancouver, Lloyd Tyler. He has run the City’s books for decades, and is the guy who makes City Council’s wishes come true. He handles tens of millions of public dollars, yet he is unaccountable to the voters. Vancouver has run an increasing deficit for ten years now and Lloyd Tyler is still in charge. What is wrong with that picture??

    Another of the usual suspects.

    Like

  7. Ring, Ring!
    Clark County Commissioner: “Hi neighbor. This is Marc Boldt, your county commissioner. I’m calling you as a board member of C-tran asking for your support of Proposition 1 on your ballot.”

    Elderly voter: I’m on a fixed income and struggling to keep my home. My husband died a few years ago, and I have to pay to keep up the yard or fix anything. I really can’t afford the taxes I already pay, so I cut back on heat in the winter. Is this absolutely necessary?

    CC Commissioner: “Without this measure, we as a board will be forced to cut services to the needy in both bus service and C-Van service.”

    Elderly voter: I don’t use C-Van ever, but I do feel for others who rely on it. Do you really believe it is absolutely necessary? I’m knitting a heavy sweater and hat to wear at home this year, and could go without heat more often if it will help my neighbor. As Jesus teaches, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. I just want to be sure, it it really necessary?

    CC Commissioner: “Please vote Yes on Proposition 1…”

    Elderly voter: Can you please send a C-Van to come and pick up my ballot?

    (Clark County Commissioner and C-Tran Board Chair Marc Boldt spoke the above words in a robo call made on Nov. 6 for the Nov. 8 election. The elderly voter represents the plight of many widows living in Clark County )

    Like

  8. EV, you forgot the “Click” as the poor widow requested a C-Van to carry her ballot to the drop box and the robo-call ended.

    Like

  9. One “problem” with “Robocalls”: Most people have cell phones and many no longer have landlines. The whole dynamic is changing as we speak.

    Like

  10. The last two days has been one day of laughter and sure surprise after another. Now that the “ruling class” does not have to deal with I-1125 and they have Prop-Wash 1 in their pocket, what is going to stop them now?

    Two months from now, they will have the legislative authority by state statute to sub-divide however they want. And everyone who is posting here is simply just going to have to take a back seat to it.

    (And Robert Dean, thank you for making me laugh. I really have needed after a decade and a half of political news that is so depressing..)

    Like

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