By Professor Robert Dean
Tap! Tap!
E. Lynch: The fifth inaugural meeting of Identity Vancouver is now in session. Tonight we will try to rescue the CRC light rail project from the scrap heap. As you may know, we spent $160 million of public money designing a bridge that does not meet Coast Guard standards for shipping clearance.
M. Boldt: Also, it’s too low.
S. Stuart: Too low! How could that be? Tim, you’re an engineer, how could they build it too low?
T. Leavitt: Not sure. I checked and re-checked the data and I can’t find anything wrong. According to my calculations, if we build the bridge 95 feet up from the water 95% of the skiffs and dinghies that currently use the river will fit under it – that’s two sigma! I don’t know what the Coast Guard is all balled up about.
E. Lynch: Well they are!! And if we don’t do something about it soon we’ll miss out on making a killing buying up all the distressed real estate in Downtown Vancouver during the 6.3 years of construction.
J. Nutter: And the construction contracts.
T. Schauer: And the government no bid A & E contracts.
T. Leavitt: And light rail – we were counting on extending it throughout Clark County. Talk about a gravy train! All those contracts we got from Metro would be chicken feed by comparison.
S. Stuart: So what happened?
T. Leavitt: Let’s call Nancy at the CRC and find out.
Ring! Ring!
N. Boyd: Hello! Columbia River Crossing Director, Nancy Boyd, here.
T. Leavitt: Nancy! Tim!
N. Boyd: Tim?
T. Leavitt: Timothy D. Leavitt, Mayor of Vancouver, Washington and Senior Engineer at PBS Engineering + Environmental.
N. Boyd: Oh, right! Tim! Listen, Tim, about that benefit /cost analysis you asked for years ago, I would have done it but it might have spurred too much public opposition against the project.
T. Leavitt: That’s alright, Nancy, I think you’re right. We only asked for it to cover our, uh, to cover our…
N. Boyd: Thanks for understanding, Tim.
T. Leavitt: The reason I called was to find out why we spent all those years and hundreds of millions of dollars designing a bridge that is too low:
N. Boyd: (silence)
T. Leavitt: Too low.
N. Boyd: That’s cruel, Tim.
T. Leavitt: Sorry.
N. Boyd: It wasn’t me! Those decisions were made before I got here.
T. Leavitt: Oh! Sure! No! Hey! I didn’t mean…
N. Boyd: Here! I’ll let you talk to the contractors who did the studies.
Ring! Ring!
Parsons Brinkerhoff: Hello! PB Engineering!
T. Leavitt: Oh shit! Click!
S. Stuart: What was that about?
T. Leavitt: What? Oh! Nothing!
E. Lynch: So what did Nancy have to say?
T. Leavitt: She was no help whatsoever.
S. Stuart: Well, As I understand it, they got some outfit to do the study that had already been fined $407 million by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts for cost overruns on the Boston Big Dig .
T. Leavitt: But we…
L. Smith: Weren’t they the same outfit that left a $500 million hole in expected toll revenues because of low-balling diversions and over-estimating traffic projections on the CRC project?
S. Stuart: I think you’re right, Larry, or maybe a firm that works closely with them on many mega projects. But what can we do about it now? We’re too far in the tank to climb out at this late date.
M. Boldt: How about we say, “I was for the CRC before I was against it.”
T. Leavitt: That only works if you get elected before you switch.
S. Stuart: No, let’s continue with what we’ve been doing – pretend we’ve got everything under control and demonize the opposition. Is the Columbian still on board?
J. Laird: Got your back, Steve.
S. Stuart: Then, when it all hits the fan – blame the Coast Guard.
J. Laird: I’ll check who’s heading them up – hopefully a Bush appointee.
E. Lynch: Great! Meeting adjoined.
Clark County Conservative 