Contributed by Professor Robert Dean
It was the night before Christmas. Tim tossed back his nightcap, blew out the candle, and snuggled into his pillow for what he hoped would be his first good night’s sleep in years. Visions of sugar daddies danced in his head. You see, Tim had just announced his resignation as Mayor of Vancouver, Washington and accepted a job as Vice President of Light Rail Promotion at the engineering firm, Government Contracts R Us.
He was looking forward to reuniting with his old colleagues from the city and county as well as former employers who had already been bought up or merged with GCRU. Life was good.
Usually, he lay awake at this time worrying about things; trying to remember how he had spun this or explained away that. Now, it was different. Now, as he lay on his pillow staring up at the spackling patterns on the ceiling he reflected wistfully on his astonishing successes:
1) Judicious reconsideration after getting elected as Mayor the first time on the no-tolls pledge.
2) Gaining approval of a locally preferred alternative that included light rail.
3) Pushing through an unpublished FEIS that made no mention of indirect effects on Downtown businesses.
4) Reveling with Jim Moeller, and other influential light rail boosters, over the issuance of the Record of Decision.
5) Securing federal funding for construction to the tune of over $1 billion for the low, low price of only $1.4 billion at 5% interest over 30 years plus financing costs plus maintenance and operations plus cost overruns of less than 30% plus the states’ share of $1.4 billion in TIFIA loans at 3% over 30 years plus financing costs all totaling less than $12 billion.
6) Avoiding a public vote by getting money from a Pakistani lender for the operation and maintenance of light rail.
All this; with nary a vote by the public! Brilliant! Just brilliant! I should marry Andrea, he thought.
